Parfum De Mayonnaise - Failure museum

Parfum De Mayonnaise (i.e. Hellmans Mayo Fragrance)

At the heart of the fragrance lies a daring mayonnaise accord. The mayonnaise accord provides a rich, smooth texture to the fragrance, making it intriguingly complex and memorable.

Complementing the mayonnaise, a whisper of parsley adds a fresh, herbal element to the scent’s heart. The green, aromatic quality of the herb enhances the fragrance with a natural, earthy tone, reminiscent of a well-prepared dish.

The fragrance is rounded out with creamy vanilla, adding a sweet comforting finish. This note balances the tartness of the lemon and the creaminess of the mayonnaise, creating a harmonious blend that is both inviting and intriguing.

Motorola ROKR - Failure Museum

Motorola ROKR

In 2005, over a year before the first iPhone, Apple and Motorola collaborated to produce a device informally known as “the iTunes phone.” This was Apple’s first device in the cellphone market. Conceived as an iPod Shuffle mated to a cellphone, the device was called the MOTOROKR E1. 

In the end, the device proved disastrous with its cheap plastic design, poor camera and 100-song limit, it fell far short of the iPod’s promise of 1,000 songs in your pocket.

Ellume - Failure Museum

Ellume

Founded in 2009 and having raised $192M, Ellume was focused on producing digital diagnostic products during the H1N1 outbreak. Ellume secured a $300M contract to supply newly developed SARS-COV-2 kits to the US in 2019. In 2021, the product was recalled due to false positive results. Ellume went bankrupt in 2023 and owed $140M to investors, partners, contractors and staff.

Second Life - Failure Mueum

Second Life

Founded in 2001 ahead of its time, Second Life was a developer of an internet-based virtual platform intended to empower people to create, share, and benefit from virtual experiences. The three-dimensional virtaul world allows people to create, buy, sell, and experience virtual content through a sereis of content creation, land management and transactional tools.

Sneex - Failure Museum

Sneex

In 2024, Sneex was introduced as a “luxury hybrid stiletto” The sneaker heels were created to provide the comfort of a sneaker with the height of a heel.

Pornitor - Failure Museum

Pornitor

Released in 2024 by Amazon, the pornitor is named through a combination of portable and monitor. But differentiating displays by shortening portable and monitor to pornitor may give shoppers the wrong idea about what you’re actually selling.

White Sox 2024 - Failure Museum

Chicago White Sox 2024

The 2024 Chicago White Sox had the most losses, 121, of any Major League Baseball team in modern-day history finishing the season 80 games below .500 and 51.5 games out of first place.

They scored the fewest runs of any team in the past 50 years and their run differential was the third worst in MLB history. Plus they were lowest in the league in home runs, RBIs, and OPS, had the second worst batting average, and third worst ERA despite having a $133M payroll, 18th in the league. Their payroll exceeded 11 teams including several playoff teams: Royals, Brewers, Orioles, and Guardians. They had a 0-88 record when trailing after 8 innings, 13-29 record in one-run games, and an 8-42-2 series record. Plus they had a MLB-high of 51 blown lead losses and 37 blown saves (a 35% save percentage compared to the MLB average of 63%).

They set a record for the quickest assurance of a losing season by losing 82 of their first 109 games, surpassing the 2003 Detroit Tigers, who lost 82 of their first 111 games. Meanwhile, starting pitcher Chris Flexen set the MLB record of 20 consecutive starts where his team went on to lose.

They lost at least four straight games 14 separate times this season, headlined by an American League-tying 21 game losing streak and a 14 game losing streak. They started the season with four consecutive losing streaks, each longer than the last. They lost the first four games of the season, then lost five straight, then six straight, then seven in a row. Each streak was separated by one victory.

Aunt Jemima - Failure Museum

Aunt Jemima

Aunt Jemima, founded in 1888, was an American breakfast brand for pancake mix and table syrup. In 2020, Quaker Oats discontinued the Aunt Jemima brand “to make progress toward racial equality”.

Selectica - Failure Museum

Selectica

Selectica IPO’d in March 2000 at the peak of the dot com boom and reached a market cap valuation of  $5 billion and was sold 8 years later for $50M.

Selectica provided configuration software, a subcategory of quote-to-cash, which is a sub-category within the broader CRM.

In the early 2000s, as the Internet became mainstream, businesses discovered online b2b as a new procurement channel and rushed to deliver their products and services for purchase online, via their website.

Businesses such as Cisco and DELL, had products that required configuration by the buyer to customize for their needs. Some of these products (e.g. configuring a large server) had many options across the bill of materials that customers could pick and choose, and therefore a class of software that could manage the logic of providing only valid options at each stage of the configuration, came in particularly helpful. Selectica aimed to provide this software.

However, there wasn’t really a market large enough for a standalone company to thrive and grow in this category. The majority of the b2b businesses, did not need a configuration software solution. Their products and services were relatively straightforward and did require complex configuration, and simple rules that could be easily programmed were sufficient. For the niche segment of the market that had a complex set of products and services to sell (the likes of Cisco), were too complex, and only custom logic built from the ground up specific to their use case could solve their problem.

Quarterly revenue capped at about $12MM range, 70%-80% of which was attributed to professional services. 

Microma - Failure Museum

Microma

In 1972, Intel entered the business of wearable tech with its acquisition of digital watchmaker Microma. They exited the business in 1977 after realizing marketing a consumer product is completely different from the chip business and requires different skills and staffing.

Microma watches were finicky, especially the display, and return rates were over 25%. Plus the batteries did not last long and competition heated up with Seika, Citizen, and General Time Corporation.